Beacon Of Guidance
Huzoor, my question is that to what extent should one make compromises in a relationship to avoid quarrels and disputes, and when to give priority to their self-respect? The fact of the matter is that there are many types of relationships such as siblings, parents, uncles and aunts, husband and wife, in-laws.
Every relation has a different nature and every dispute has a different nature. As far as parents are concerned, they should be respected at all times, this is the commandment of the Holy Qur’an, unless they call you towards shirk or stop you from practising your faith.
Apart from this you should not even utter an expression of disgust before them. In relation to them, you ought to compromise at all times and you must serve them. If the relationship between the parents is not good and you think whether you should take the mother’s side or the father’s side.
You should not take anyone’s side. If you can advise both of them then you should. As far as the siblings are concerned, even if one must give up their right to establish peace with their brothers and sisters, they should do so. Islam commands to take care of the rights of others.
Although Islam commands that whatever rights you have you should seek them, but before that Islam says that you should take care of the rights of others. If you seek to take care of the rights of others and you pray for them
That I am the one who is taking care of the rights of others, and so may Allah the Almighty grant them sense so that they can understand the matter and the disputes should end, then in such cases the disputes are resolved as well. Thirdly, as far as relations with relatives are concerned,
Such as uncles and cousins (etc.), as they are elders and because they are not being met on a daily basis, they are only being met occasionally then you should greet them in a good manner with ‘Assalamo Alaikum’. Greet all of them and treat them with excellent manners; these are high morals.
Finally as for the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then the mother-in-laws generally have become set in their ways so as far as the question of respecting them goes, you should respect them. And women should do so. They should not continuously complain to their husbands regarding their mother-in-laws.
And you should pray that you should be able to act in the best manner. The fact of the matter is if you have good morals then the husbands also behave in a good manner, unless the husband is a really stubborn person, then that is another matter.
Likewise, in the case of mother-in-laws, they should also display good morals, which include taking care of their daughter-in-laws. It is the teaching of Islam to consider each other’s feelings and sentiments. The daughter-in-laws should take care of the feelings of the mother-in-laws. The mother-in-laws should take care of the feelings of the daughter-in-laws.
Brothers and sisters should take care of each other’s sentiments. And then they should also pray for one another that if Allah has created such a situation that is creating a rift, then may Allah the Almighty remove it. So if one displays excellent morals, then a person remains at ease and comfort.
Allah the Almighty states that if one displayed excellent morals even to one’s enemies, they eventually become one’s friends. So people who have mutual relationships or who belong to the same faith, why can they not show good morals to one another and become friends.
Allah the Almighty states that [through good morals] your enemies can become your friends, and so those that are of one tribe, one family, one household, one nation, one faith why can they not establish such ties. Alright? Yes If you have a specific question now then tell me?
Who do you need to reconcile with? Yes, JazakAllah Huzoor Have all the different relations been covered? Yes they have all been mentioned. Whatever different relations were in your mind have they all been mentioned? Yes Huzoor. Okay then be seated JazakAllah Huzoor My question is that how do we benefit
From the charity [Sadaqah] we give? How do we benefit from it? When you give charity others benefit from it. We should also think of what can benefit others as well. Do you only want to see what benefits you or do you also want to see what can provide benefit to others as well?
We should see what can benefit others as well. We should look out for others as well, right? For example, you are eating burgers, Nandos, fish and chips and there is another child present who is of a similar age to you and is hungry.
He has not even had any breakfast and has no food available to eat or any clothes to wear. However, if you give him some money so he can purchase some nice clothes and have something to eat then he will surely benefit from that, right? Yes
He will express his gratitude to you and when he does that you will feel happy, right? Yes, I will feel happy. Therefore, one benefit you will receive from giving charity is that you will receive happiness. That is one benefit. Another major benefit is that since you have helped a poor person,
Then Allah the Almighty states that He will also reward you. Allah the Almighty will also be pleased with you. Allah the Almighty states that if one performs a good deed then He will grant them a reward in return which is 10 times or 700 times or even more than that as well.
Therefore, Allah the Almighty rewards you for your deeds. It is possible you may have spent 5 euros on someone for charity and Allah the Almighty will grant you 500 euros in return or 100 euros. Or, Allah the Almighty may accept some other wish of yours and become pleased with you
And grant you further opportunities to perform virtuous deeds. One good deed produces another and in this way they continue to increase. Thus, this is the benefit. Firstly, you will have made that poor person happy and will receive his prayers and these prayers will benefit you.
Moreover, Allah the Almighty will be pleased with you and He will also reward you abundantly. Furthermore, you will feel content in having helped someone. Hence, you will have received so many benefits, right? In that case you should give charity. JazakAllah Huzoor. Beloved Huzoor (aba), my question is
That how can we raise our children to become virtuous in this [western] society? I have recently come from Pakistan and find that society here is very different and unrestrained, so how can we ensure that our children remain on the right path.
There are people who live here [in the west] and their children have a good upbringing. For this parents have to present their own example before the children. If the father offers his prayers, recites the Holy Qur’an, and then exhorts his wife and children to also do the same;
If the father has good morals and tells his wife and children to adopt good morals as well; if, whilst living in this society, the father establishes a friendly relationship with his children and instils such confidence in them that they feel comfortable to share everything with him that they learn from outside
And he has the courage to listen to what they say and then discusses it with them and remove theirs doubts and queries, then in this way you can bring about a good moral upbringing in them. If one neglects their children and just focuses on earning wealth
And out of the 24 hours, spends 18 hours working and tells his wife to also work ten hours a day and earn money, so that they can save enough to purchase a house and pay off its mortgage, then when the children come home from school, their condition will be such
That they will simply take bread out of the fridge and warm it up and eat it. They will feel that the parents do not show any concern for them and nor are they concerned about their prayers or tell them to offer prayers
And nor have they ever seen their parents pray since they are busy working. Consequently, the children will continue to behave in this worldly manner. If parents behave like this then they themselves will be placing their children in these difficult circumstances. Therefore, you have to make an effort.
Now that you have come here, Allah the Almighty will provide the means to earn a livelihood. Even if you have less money it does not matter, but you must give due attention to your children. You should spend time with your children on the weekends
And if there are any Jama’at programmes then you should personally take them. Whilst there you should supervise them and ensure that they have spent their time in the right environment. In this way, the organisers will also know that the parents are paying attention as well
And they will also be careful and ensure the proper training of the children. Also, if the children go to their friend’s house, again you should be aware of what kind of environment they are in. You should make sure that they don’t fall prey to any ill-habits.
So you will have to make a lot of effort. You have now come here and just like you will make an effort to earn money, you also need to make an effort for the upbringing of your children. Once you have made that effort, then inshAllah Allah the Almighty will help you.
Along with this you also have to pray. Alright? JazakAllah. Beloved Huzoor, may the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you. Peace be upon you. My question is, what are the factors leading to the ruin of the Arab countries? Where have you learned Urdu from? Huzoor, I am studying in Jamia.
You are studying? Which class are you in? I am in fourth year (Thalitha) You are in Thalitha? MashAllah. Your Urdu is of a good standard by the fourth year. Yes Huzoor, I am from the Iran Jama’at. From Iran? Yes, alright. Aqeel al-Khamisi from Iran. Many words (in Urdu) are quite similar to Farsi.
Yes The conditions in Iran are not safe enough for you to return, so you should remain (in Canada). The first thing I wish to say to you is that remain patient for a little longer, Allah the Almighty will create a better outcome for you, God-willing. Alright?
You must be missing your mother and father, but it’s alright. Okay? Yes Huzoor. That was the first thing. Secondly, what was the real reason the Arab countries were destroyed? In fact, the same reason exists today; when a person abandons the One God, Who has no partner,
And instead one makes super powers their god; when this becomes the condition of everyone; from the King of Saudi Arabia to the king or head of a small state, then Allah the Almighty removes His hand of support from them. Furthermore, they do not follow the commandments of God Almighty
And then misuse the wealth and provisions Allah the Almighty has granted them. They did not take heed from the Holy Qur’an; Allah the Almighty had stated in the Holy Qur’an that nations were destroyed due to their money or wealth. We can see that they are overjoyed at the amount of wealth they have;
However, it is that same wealth that becomes the means of their destruction. Allah the Almighty bestowed them (Arab countries) with wealth also, but how has that benefited them and what service have they rendered for the faith? The Ahmadiyya Jama’at is a small community,
But it is working to spread the teachings of the Holy Qur’an throughout the world by collecting contributions. Even out of the smaller countries, their one month’s official expenditure is more than the entire yearly budget of the Ahmadiyya Jama’at, right? But the question is how are they serving the Holy Qur’an?
They only know one thing and that is to oppose the Ahmadiyya Jama’at and the Promised Messiah (as) and issue edicts of Kufr (declaring to be non-Muslims). When a situation arises whereby one moves away from religion and makes worldly people their “god”,
And carries out evil deeds in the name of the true God, and spreads harmful innovations; and interprets the teaching (of Islam) in the wrong way; and neither does one fulfil the rights of Allah nor His creation; then the natural result is what we can see today. Right?
When they learn to accept the True God and obey His commandments, these same countries will begin to progress. There are 54 Muslim countries in the world and this is not a small force. They can achieve a lot, but because they are embroiled in sectarianism or immersed in materialism,
Muslims have created a divide amongst themselves. This is what the Hadith of the Holy Prophet (sa) stated, that when dishonesty would become prevalent amongst the Muslims, their progress would halt and they would face ruin; then a person would appear to gather the Muslims together, whosoever would attach themselves with him would be saved,
And whoever failed to do so would not be saved. Okay Maulvi Sahib? JazakAllah May Allah be your Protector.